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Church in
Crisis Interview of Dr. Leslie Lothstein by Katherine DiGiulio
The following interview was conducted on June 17, 2002, for
Crossroads Magazine, a weekly television show produced by the
Office of Radio and Television of the Archdiocese of Hartford.
Dr. Leslie Lothstein is the Director of Psychology at the
Institute of Living, part of Hartford Hospitals Mental Health Network. He
has been at the Institute of Living for 16 years. Before that, he was at Case
Western Reserve University in Ohio. Lothstein estimates that he and his
colleagues have treated 600 Catholic priests, 100 Protestant ministers, 1 rabbi
and about 50 women religious who come from all over the world -- South America,
Europe, Guam, Philippines, China, Ireland -- for various psychological
disorders. Lothstein spoke with Katherine DiGiulio, a writer and producer at
the Office of Radio and Television.
What have you treated priests for?
Not everybody comes here because of a sexual issue; they come here
for psychiatric treatment because of serious medical-psychiatric problems that
theyre having. Many of the priests that we treat have severe psychiatric
disorders (bipolar illness, major depression, anxiety disorders) and medical
disorders including obesity, diabetes, and hypertension. These problems
accompany the stress related to their very complicated job. The job of a priest
is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and the demands made on them by the laity are
enormous -- often with no privacy, no private life and a life basically of hard
work and hard hours.
Isnt that also the case with ministers and
rabbis?
Im not sure that 24-7 doesnt apply to other clergy,
but whats different is that they dont go to a lonely place to live
by themselves or to have the illusion of community with two or three other men
who live in the house but none of whom talk to each other, eat with each other,
watch TV together or even drink together, which is a very difficult type of
life. And if you look at the statistics on celibacy, its an interesting
issue. Richard Sipe in his book on celibacy and the priesthood did a study of
about 1300 Catholic priests -- hes a former priest himself -- and he
maintains that 2% are genuinely celibate, 18% are struggling with the issue of
celibacy and 80% are not celibate. That doesnt mean theyre having
sex all the time or are active, but theyre not celibate. The issue of
celibacy is a process, its not a given, so using the term celibate
priest sometimes is a misnomer.
The number of priests youve treated suggests that
psychological problems beset priests more than other clergy.
I dont know if thats true. It is estimated by the
Interfaith Sexual Trauma Institute in Collegeville, Minn., that about one in
every three faith communities in this country has a religious leader who has
crossed a sexual boundary, violated a sexual boundary or who has engaged in
sexual conduct which is illegal or at least unprofessional, immoral and
spiritually defunct. And which has ripple effects through the entire faith
community. The issue, though, is that in the Catholic priesthood, boundary
crossing has been associated with minors more so than with any of the other
religious denominations, such as Protestantism, or Judaism. It doesnt
mean that Protestant ministers dont have sexual activity with children,
but the structure of each of the Protestant denominations is quite different,
so when a minister acts out with a teenager or with a child, they are
immediately identified, and suspended if not thrown out of ministry. If they
find another ministry thats really an independent decision because
theres no hierarchical structure in some Protestant sects. Or in some of
the Protestant denominations like Methodist, Congregational, Episcopal,
Presbyterian, which have a hierarchical structure, they have leaders who know
who the sexually errant individuals are and they keep them from functioning in
other congregations. The same is true in Judaism -- if acting out occurs, the
rabbis on his own. The problem for the Catholic priesthood is that the
definition of a priest has been very unique.
How so?
Its a theological distinction, which creates a canonical
theological relationship to god, to Jesus. In Protestantism or Judaism the
minister or the rabbi is just a teacher; anyone in the lay congregation can get
up and say the prayers and the appropriate blessings, and read the liturgy for
marriage or death or for any kind of celebration. But the priest in the
Catholic church has a very special role, which is why it was so interesting
when [then-Bishop] Edward Egan made the argument when he was being sued in the
diocese of Bridgeport that priests are independent contractors. There was a
cartoon in the Hartford Courant that depicted the general feeling. Would
Jesus describe himself as an independent contractor? I dont think so.
Its because of the accountability and the structure of the
Catholic church that we certainly hear more about boundary violations and
boundary crossings when sexual misconduct occurs, and the statistics are more
available to the general public than they are with the other denominations. But
I can assure you, you can go on Internet sites like Black Collar
Crime, and theres a whole book dedicated just to Protestant clergy
who have sexually abused. Generally what happens, though, when Protestant and
Jewish clergy sexually cross boundaries, they do it with adult women, during
some type of pastoral care. The husband has died, someone comes in with a bad
marriage, theres domestic violence. A boundary starts being crossed
through hugging, touching, meeting late at night, and then the boundary is
violated when sex occurs. That can be very disruptive to a faith community,
incredibly disruptive.
So Catholic priests cross boundaries more often with
minors?
Whats more common for a Catholic priest is a relationship to
teenage males. But the second level of crisis that no ones discussing,
but weve certainly seen it a lot in our caseload, is Catholic priests who
violate boundaries with married women, and so you have a double sacrament
thats being violated here, the sacrament of marriage. Weve had
several priests whove gotten women pregnant and weve had priests
who have gotten women pregnant who had abortions, all of which goes counter to
Catholic theology and certainly if youre a priest, they go counter to
that part of your life in an exponential way. But the issue here is really with
minors. Thats whats attracted so much attention. I think if the
hierarchy had responded in a much more appropriate way by not shuffling these
men around and then lying to the laity by saying, Weve dealt with
the problem, youll no longer see the priest, when what they really
meant is weve moved these men, you dont see them because
theyre not functioning in that area. Thats very similar to what
they do in the educational system. The Catholic church is not alone in these
issues; all institutions when there are unions involved, or other issues
involved, move people from one segment of their work to another. This is not
just a Catholic issue.
Is there more sexual abuse overall in the Catholic church than
in Protestant churches or synagogues?
Nobody has statistics on those issues. What we do know from a book
published by Philip Jenkins called Pedophile Priests is that the incidence of
pedophilia is no different among Catholic priests than in the general
population. The technical definition of pedophilia is having sex with a
prepubescent child and thats a mental disorder in the Diagnostic and
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders for psychiatry and psychology. So if you
have sex with a child under 13 or who is prepubescent, thats called
pedophilia. The real issue in the Catholic church when it has to do with minors
is that age group between 14 and 17. In Connecticut law, anyone under the age
of 16 is considered a minor, so a sex crime has been committed. The younger the
minor, the more serious the punishment, but there is no diagnosis or
mental disorder for having sex with a teenager.
What about ephebophilia?
Ephebophilia is a term that applies to that subgroup of minors who
are teenagers. Its from the Greek, it means love of teens. But its
not a diagnosis. It doesnt appear in DSM-IV. When it occurs, its
what we call a non-paraphilic sexual disorder if it has compulsive traits to
it. By non-paraphilic I mean a sexual compulsion or addiction that is not
diagnosed by DSM -IV. Its just simply illegal. And its immoral,
unprofessional. These are children; their minds havent developed yet. In
the state of Connecticut, a 15-year-old is considered incompetent to enter into
informed consent.
So there is more of this going on than hardcore pedophilia?
Its very rare to see a priest whos having sex with a
prepubescent child. When that occurs thats when you get the sensational
cases youve read about, the John Geogan case, where there are dozens if
not hundreds of victims. In those cases, the Porters, the Geogans, you have not
only 100 plus victims, but you have victims of either sex, it could be boys or
girls, it could be young children or older children. These are very damaged
individuals, who are psychiatrically very disturbed. They have very serious
personality disorders (theyre often labeled as psychopaths) and possibly
brain abnormalities. This is a core group of very dangerous predators. They are
certainly rare amongst Catholic priests, but anyone whos a parent - I
have three children - knows that one incidence of having sex with a child is
enough. How many murders do you have to commit to be called a murderer? Maybe
youre not a predator in the sense that the community is endangered by
your presence, but youve endangered one person and their family and your
faith community. Ive seen enough victims of priest sexual abuse,
including priests who have been abused by other priests when they were younger,
and the pain is enormous, it just doesnt go away. So the numbers games
played now by the American Conference of Catholic bishops is interesting to me,
but I think its irrelevant. Whether you do it once, twice or 100 times,
anyone who has sex with a minor should not be doing a public ministry.
What is the profile of a priest who commits sexual
abuse?
There are some issues that a large number share in common, but
there are also very unique issues because many of the priests we see are not
necessarily involved with minors but with other types of paraphilias, including
exhibitionism, gender identity disorder (one priest underwent a sex change),
sexual masochism and sadism - who beat people. Weve had a number of
priests who were sexual fetishists, who got into fetishism with individuals,
and weve had some who have gone beyond that and gotten involved in some
rather exotic, kinky type of sexual behavior, including cruising, where
theyve had hundreds if not thousands of sex partners (often found among
some gay priests who cruise age-appropriate males), or where theres
compulsive masturbation that goes on ten, fifteen times a day. These are not
problems that may affect the church in terms of a story on the front page,
because sometimes there are no victims. Sometimes there are victims. Then
weve seen a large number who get involved in compulsive womanizing and
some who have several children by different women. In the sixteen years
Ive been here Ive only seen a handful of men whove actually
been genuine pedophiles, when you use that term correctly. Its not used
correctly in the lay literature or even the professional literature at times.
But when its used correctly you very rarely see a pedophile.
What do you see?
Generally, the social ecology of seminary training for Catholic
priests isolates them from women, so you have an all-male society in which a
hierarchical structure is very profound, in which the people at the top share
traits of invincibility, invulnerability, omnipotence, omniscience. You have
young 14-year-olds in a minor seminary; then they move into a major seminary,
and theyve had no contact with women. Often these men have been told by
their own mothers that women are dangerous, that they have been selected by
their mothers to become the priest for the family. They have a very close
relationship with their mothers. Theyre heterosexual but they fear women,
dread women, are terrified of women. It started early in their childhood, when
their mothers told them, Youre going to be a priest, thats
your vocation, stay away from women, you have to be careful, women are
dangerous; they may want to marry, get pregnant, have a family. So these
men are brought up in a culture thats antisexual and misogynist. Then
they enter the seminary, which is patriarchal and hierarchal. They are
infantilized by their teachers, by the bishops and cardinals, who evoke a role
of invincibility, invulnerability, omniscience and omnipotence. Theres
this lure to power. So these men are basically segregated from society, they
dont date, so they dont develop the kind of experience that
teenagers develop, in terms of normal dating patterns, whether with the
opposite sex or the same sex. They dont develop the kind of psychosexual
maturity they need to deal with their own urges and inner experiences. So
theres no attempt or chance to experiment through dating, through meeting
people, through having relationships that go on for a while, for learning about
love, about what its really like to deal with another persons
needs. Theyre treated as very special and in fact their celibacy is
treated as the most special thing ever. But nobody talks to them about sex. I
have very rarely met even newer seminarians - in fact the newer ones are so
conservative they dont even want to use the word sex or talk
about it - who have been given courses on what intimacy is about, what your
life is going to be like as a priest, how youre going to deal with the
loneliness, long hours, and lack of friendships.
Whats interesting to me as a psychologist is that I often
hear priests and nuns say that they were told when they were in formation that
they couldnt have particular friendships. Particular
friendship is a code which means, Were nervous youre
going to develop into a homosexual. But all of us need particular
friendships. I need male friends; you need to have female friends. It has
nothing to do with homosexuality. It has to do with developing the capacity to
relate to people of the same sex and the other sex in an intimate way
thats not sexual, people that you can play with, hike with, ride a bike
with, play games with, drink with, buddies. Priests dont have this, they
have no access to this, theyre told that any relationship you have with
anyone that gets too close, were going to disrupt it and break it apart.
Thats counterintuitive to everything we know about healthy psychology. So
not only are these men told they cant be intimate, but they cant
even have friendships. What happens is that many of these men grow up
psychosexually immature and they dont have a depth of understanding of
relationships, and all of a sudden theyre ordained and have power.
So when does sexual acting out occur?
It occurs sometimes just after theyre ordained, in the first
two years after ordination. Often their first assignment is terrible.
Theyre sent into a parish with an older priest, whos empty inside,
whos alcoholic, diabetic, who feels threatened by this younger person,
whos loathe to become involved with the young people in the congregation
because theyre too noisy, too rambunctious, their needs are too great. He
will often immediately put the younger priest into ministries with the youth.
All of a sudden the younger priests world is different, hes
surrounded by kids who are not going to be nuns and priests, who are dating,
having fun, having pizza parties, playing video games. All of a sudden, the
lack of psychosexual emotional development in these priests emerges as a kind
of regressed state, so theyre with kids, the excitement is invigorating,
the energy is vital, and they get involved with it. And you start to see the
imprudence, the poor judgment. They start doing things that make no sense, like
inviting the kids up to their rectory room to have a party, going camping with
them, going to their house to be with them. All of a sudden theyre
teenagers. This doesnt excuse their behavior, but theres no role
model of a senior pastor who says, Cut it out, what are you doing?
Thats not how youre supposed to do it. The pastors not
available, although sometimes when pastors do speak up theyre
ignored.
Seminarians say they are being taught about sex.
What are they being told? Whos teaching them? Im not
teaching them. Where are they learning from? What happens is there are two
narratives of sexuality in this culture, one is the disease HIV/std model and
the other is that its sinful and you shouldnt do it, the abstinence
model. They dont work.
Some are calling this a gay issue and are scapegoating
gays.
Its horrible. But if the church wants to protect itself, it
will find itself in the same position as in the McCarthy era when Roy Cohn,
McCarthys attorney, was anti-homosexual and died of HIV. Thats
whats going to happen. 40% of the Catholic priesthood all the way up to
the top are gay. We have 3% of people who are molesting minors. Its not a
gay issue. As long as anybody in our society or religion is either marginalized
or scapegoated, we all are, even if we dont know it. As a clinician I can
tell you that the gay priests I treat are having sex with age appropriate men.
They may be violating their celibacy, but not with children. Data are that most
pedophiles are heterosexual, but you also have a small group of gay seminarians
that act out with some of the teenage boys. But so are heterosexuals. As I said
before, if you have a young child raised to fear, dread and be afraid of women,
and hes suddenly thrown into a group of teenagers, well, his mother never
said it was wrong to have sex with men. Ive seen so many heterosexual
priests have obligatory sex with teenage boys because they cant get them
pregnant. Theres a whole group of heterosexual priests having sex with
teenage boys because they cant get them pregnant and the teens cant
threaten their priesthood because they cant marry them.
It sounds ludicrous, but we have a professional program for
professionals and clergy. Theyre very smart people and most of what they
do is driven by unconscious forces, so you have very smart people doing very
silly and dangerous things that smart people shouldnt do.
You were talking earlier about acting out with married
women.
When you look at the acting out thats been made public,
its with male teenagers. What hasnt come out yet is all the married
women in the church whove had sex with priests. Thats another huge
scandal. The women have too much to lose. Since theyre married, they
would have to discuss it with their husbands, their families, so its a
secret. I had one priest from another state that was discovered only when
someone noticed that some children going up for communion looked just like him.
Then the whole thing came out.
The bishops in three cases I can think of wanted to pay off the
women so they would not even acknowledge that the childs father was a
priest. They wanted the priest to leave the relationship and have nothing to do
with the child. It seems to me as an adult, a psychologist, and a parent that
having fathered a child they have a responsibility, and my psychology is,
Look, you tell me how much you want to be a priest and how much you value
your priesthood, but here youve had sex with this woman and she has a
child. Do you know what this childs life is going to be like? I
dont care what your interest is in being a priest. Think about what this
childs life is going to be like, growing up and at some point knowing
that he is a bastard as a result of a priest having sex with his mother and he
wont acknowledge it because hed rather be a priest than be the
childs father. I said, Take responsibility, grow up. In
the case of one person, he did, he left the priesthood and is taking care of
his children. I think thats wonderful. Theres another group of men
who come into the priesthood, who are more mature and leave the priesthood to
get married. The priesthood is not simple, if you have 100 priests, you have
100 different fingerprints of sexuality.
Whether its with children or adults, sexual abuse by a
priest, as you said, has devastating consequences.
And the victims of Catholic clergy sexual abuse are a bit
different from the victims of Protestant sex abuse, Jewish, or Hindu sexual
abuse. The difference is that the role of the priest puts the priest in close
connection with Jesus and with god. And what you hear from the victims - and
Ive heard this from priests who have been victims - is that they feel
that their soul has been murdered. Its soul murder, soul murder, and they
can never get over the guilt and shame of what their responsible role was - why
was I chosen, how did this happen to me, and can I ever be reconnected with
god?
Now you dont hear this with other religions so much unless
you have a victim who over-idealizes a minister or rabbi because theyre
just teachers, they dont have that role.
A sexual abuse victim often feels abandoned by God, even if she
or he was not abused by a priest.
True, but the issue of soul murder comes up with the victims of
priest sexual abuse. When I first heard that, when people first described it to
me, and it set in, the horror of it was awful, because your spiritual life is
the most important part of your life, your internal life, because it connects
you to the deepest parts of yourself, and if you feel your soul has been
murdered, how are you going to relate to other people, how are you going to
love? How are you going to stay alive?
In society in general - one out of three girls are abused. Are
the statistics for boys about the same?
Its true, one out of three girls. The statistics for boys
are less well known, but theyre probably close to the girls. It
used to be that girls were abused by people that they knew and boys were abused
by strangers. But boys are now abused by people they know, like their coaches.
There was an entire edition of Sports Illustrated in 1999 just on
coaches who sexually abuse. Weve run workshops here at the Institute on
teachers who sexually abuse.
If you read history carefully, you see that these issues have been
with us forever. Were just acknowledging for the first time that children
have rights. Children have never had rights in any society until recently. They
had no voice; there was no narrative to speak up on behalf of their own
injuries. They werent believed. Almost every victim Ive evaluated
who was abused by a Catholic priest, when they finally told their parents, was
slapped. They were told they were lying, that priests dont do that,
how dare you lie. Its double victimization. History says that these
issues have been with us a long period of time. Some of the history is pretty
tawdry. The history of the papacy is not pretty. Many popes had sex with
adults, children and teenagers. Orgies were not uncommon with some popes. When
you review this stuff, you realize its not new. Its just that
were more aware of it.
Some from Rome are calling this an American problem.
Thats nonsense. I can tell you that in Ireland alone two
years ago - Ireland is a small country - 90 priests were sent for evaluation
both in Ireland and abroad. One of the Irish bishops impregnated a Connecticut
citizen who bore a child. Its a major health issue.
If you just look at Poland, France, Belgium, and Austria, they had
cardinals and archbishops who were forced to resign. It goes right to the heart
and system and structure of the church. I think that the institutional
structure of the Catholic church has to look and see what about its structure
leads to this type of behavior. Its complicated by many things. The
church has been patriarchal, its been misogynist, theres been no
room for women except for Mary. I was invited to a think tank in St. Louis
(sponsored, I believe, by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops), where there
were about 15 nuns, 15 priests and 3 lay people, two psychologists and a
psychiatrist. What was incredible to me was the voice of the women - powerful,
brilliant, far exceeding anything I had heard from the cardinals and bishops I
spent time with in Washington D.C. (during a 5-year period when I was regularly
invited to discuss the issue of how to deal with priests who sexually abused
minors) who had no clue. I had to raise the issue, as a non-Catholic: before we
talk about when to return a priest to ministry, what about the victims? There
was dead silence. At the think tank, the women took over. They were CEOs,
physicians, theologians. For a couple of days there was a vibrant, dynamic tone
to the discussion. Everything sounded right to me, everything I was working on
clinically, dealing with in my work here, they were right on target with. So
the meeting ended, and it was summarized and written up and we all got copies.
I read it and thought, that wasnt the conference I went to. They totally
deleted the female voices and the conflictual issues raised. All they did was
simply list some of the problems that were being discussed and made no mention
of the real substance, which had to do with thinking about a female clergy, a
married clergy, celibacy as being optional, redoing the entire structure of the
American church to give it an identity and the sexual abuse victims. The Roman
part of the Roman Catholic church seems to be the last vestige of the Roman
Empire, in every sense of the word: in its spectacle, garb, pretense to power,
which has nothing to do with spirituality and religion. It has to do with
political structures from a bygone era.
Its not a U.S. issue, its not an American issue.
Its a world issue. If you just look at South America and see the flocks
of people turning away from Roman Catholicism to the Pentecostal faith because
it has more personal meaning. People want faith structures that represent their
inner experience to God and to spiritual life; they dont want to deal
with patriarchal structures that inhibit their ability to relate to God. Things
are changing. Eventually there may be a schism that will create a new voice, a
new narrative for sexuality that Augustine cut off, a narrative for women that
Augustine cut off. I have to tell you, I have a near Ph.D. in philosophy and I
have studied all the old masters. I loved reading St. Augustine, but the effect
hes had on our world view concerning sexuality has been difficult.
We have to have a culturally healthy narrative for sexuality that
goes beyond sin and disease because if you dont have a narrative for
sexuality you wind up being either an abuser or being abused. And its not
a Catholic issue; its a cultural issue. I bear the same stamp of
Augustine on my soul [laughs] being non-Christian as any Christian does,
because we are deeply influenced by our culture. So we need to have a narrative
that allows us to relate to each other as human beings. That type of shift will
mean a shift in the whole seminary experience of creating these psychosexually
immature, developmentally arrested men. I read in a document a few days ago
that in 2000 there were less than 400 Catholic priests in the United States
under the age of 30.
Did the bishops go far enough by removing offender priests from
ministry?
Some bishops have been extremely protective of their flock. The
majority of bishops -- two-thirds -- have been more protective of the priests
who abuse than the parishioner who has been abused. But anything that protects
the safety of the community is important. Priests who abuse minors need to be
under supervision and treatment for the rest of their lives, and not in public
ministry. While the Charter for the Protection of Children addresses these
issues, it does not go far enough in identifying and punishing bishops who have
conspired against victims of clergy abuse. Moreover, there should be no
internal church review of accusations against a priest that takes precedence
over allowing the legal processes of society to undertake their review
according to the law.
And for priests who abuse minors what hasnt been taken away
from them and what may increase, are their loneliness, their isolation, their
urges, which may lead them to more acting out. Some priests like Porter appear
to have a psychopathic character structure; they try to make others believe
they are reformed and no longer a risk to children. These are sexual predators;
thus, supervision may mean electronic monitoring, it may mean constant
surveillance in terms of a probation officer making home visits, going to the
rectory. Where are these men going to live, how are they going to function?
Will they have cars and be able to move around the community? All this needs to
be addressed as a public safety issue. Some people have argued that its
best to keep the priests in the church because at least youll have
oversight over them. Thats true, you do have oversight over them and if
the argument goes once a priest always a priest, then even defrocking and
laicization doesnt really, canonically, take away a persons
priesthood from what I understand. In the past bishops have assigned some
priests to hospital ministries believing they would not be able to abuse
children. However, one priest who was a hospital chaplain dressed as clown and
sexually abused the children he ministered to.
The hardest part is dealing with the older priests who may have
allegations dating back 20 and 30 years, and theyre in their late 60s to
early 80s. What are they going to do? Theres no money, theres no
retirement plan. Youre going to have people who are on the street. On the
other hand, the counter argument is, whos paying for it. Every Catholic
going to church who reaches out and gives money is paying what probably amounts
to $50,000 a year for maintenance. When you look at the health benefits,
its about $50,000.
Its a complicated question depending on the age of the
priest, the responsibility of the priest, the canonical issues that have to be
decided. But the laity also has to decide how their money is being spent. It is
estimated that over a billion dollars has already been spent to pay out legal
fees and health care costs for priests who have been sexually abusive towards
minors, and thats probably the tip of the iceberg. A billion dollars is
more than the gross national product of some countries. That money could have
been spent to keep Catholic schools open, to keep Catholic programs throughout
the US that could be of benefit to parishioners. The laity has to have some
understanding of how their money is being spent.
The analogue to this would be, if a layperson committed a similar
type of crime, they would not have the generosity of an institution paying for
them the rest of their lives. They would be on their own. There is a movement
today to make some of the hierarchy, e.g., Cardinals Law and Egan, responsible
for conspiring to move clergy around and not protect their parishioners and
minors. If they were not clerics they would probably be in jail today.
Really?
Think about a secular model. If you withhold evidence, if you are
an accomplice to a crime, what would happen to you if you werent a
cardinal or an archbishop? One of the European archbishops was sent to jail for
a similar type of situation where he knew that a priest had been guilty of
molesting minors and he conspired to keep it silent and keep moving the priest
around, so he spent time in jail.
All religious institutions require some degree of infantilization
of their parishioners, it doesnt matter what the religion is. The more
infantilization that you have, the less likely you will take agency for
yourself, take responsibility, so then things happen to you. The more open we
are about these things, the more agency we have, the less infantilized we are
and the more mature we are. We have to be mature about these things. These are
important decisions, these are our children. If children are not important to
you, and theyre just simply objects, we cant have a conversation.
The Connecticut General Statutes say its more important for me to protect
children than to guarantee the confidentiality of my clients around the issue
of child sexual abuse. While privileged communication and confidentiality are
important for psychotherapy, as a psychologist I also have to think about
public safety. I tell all my patients about that right from the outset.
What about the whole issue of confidentiality when it comes to
treating people who have a disease?
My two major mentors were Fr. Jack Kiely, who was an absolutely
wonderful priest and a spiritual guide for me, and Fr. Jim Gill, a Jesuit and a
psychiatrist, whos been my teacher. When I went to them with this issue,
I said, I dont understand. I know if a person has a compulsive
sexual problem, if they go into the sacrament of reconciliation and confess
this, what they are basically saying is, I have cancer of the
liver, and a priest cant absolve you of cancer of the liver, or if
I say, I have a brain tumor thats making me act out sexually,
how can I be absolved if I have a disease? If I go on the assumption that
anyone who has a compulsive sexual disorder and molests children and minors,
has an illness, thats a psychiatric disorder, no different that diabetes,
lung disease or cardiac disease. So how could a priest absolve them? From my
standpoint they cant. Fr. Kiely and Fr. Gill said the only way you can
give true reconciliation to someone who shares that type of behavior is if they
agree as part of the process of healing that they self-report themselves, they
acknowledge that theyre child molesters. They acknowledge who their
victims are, they acknowledge they have a non-curable illness and they are
going to act out again. If the priest promises not to act out again that has to
be treated as a wish not a reality. There is no cure for compulsive child
sexual abuse. They cant make that promise. So a true act of contrition to
get reconciliation for a child molester is, they have to agree to turn
themselves in to the police, report themselves to DCF [Department of Children
and Families], to get into treatment for sexual disorders, and make restitution
to their victims in whatever way possible. You can hear a confession, but to
give absolution a person has to truly understand what wrong theyve
done.
Ive educated two dioceses in Helena, Montana, one in
Michigan, given a workshop in Ohio; Ive talked to the entire Bridgeport
diocese, where 300-plus priests came. You educate people. Priests need to be
educated. If they hear something in a confessional what do they do with it?
What Fr. Kiely told me is, he would not absolve somebody if they said,
No, Im not going to do that [self-report]. He would say to
them, I cant absolve you of your sin. The only way you can be
absolved is if you show true understanding and recognition of what your sin is
about, and you have an illness, and unless the illness is treated you will do
it again and again. And all youre going to be doing is returning here and
making statements like, Forgive me for I have sinned.
Its more than a sin - its an illness that needs to be treated.
National Catholic Reporter, posted August 9,
2002
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