Sicperson ready to sell out for pointy hat
It is fashionable nowadays to say that, while one may not have the answers, one hopes to be asking the right questions. This Space is different, awash in answers for which no one yet has the questions.
Sample answers from fifth- and
sixth-grade kids' essays:
There was an old monk in Siberia
Does Mother Angelica know about this?
Sic's friend the philosopher is shocked that the faithful, on hearing of that cloned Scottish sheep, did not make the following connection:
And Roberta Meehan writes from Greeley (the place) with a "concern": "If the pope were to be cloned, would the clone also be infallible? And what would happen if they disagreed?"
We're glad you asked, Roberta. In his seminal work on the subject, Popes and their Clones: The Theory, the Practice, the Scuttlebutt, Cardinal Ratzinger alludes to the strange case of Popes Pius IX, both of them, who kick-started papal infallibility back in 1870 and thereafter disagreed on almost everything.
* * *
The whole world now knows there are aliens on the loose in Roswell, N.M., but surprisingly few people have seen them. One witness, according to Time, is known locally as Cactus Jack.
Everyone knows that Sic's neighbor, Luigi, the one with a sewing machine attached to his parachute, is a genuine alien. He has now begun to call himself Cactus Luigi. This merely proves that people everywhere have a great need to belong.
If we said it once, we said it twice: This Space will no longer mention -- you guessed it -- The Compost, from Green Bay diocese, which offers, David Letterman fashion, Cardinal Ratzinger's top 10 reasons women can't be ordained, including:
10. Pink is not a liturgical color.
E. Paul Weaver, who, we hope, has great patience, wrote last December to say he has been a minister in another denomination for 65 years (he has great patience). Ministers, in fact, abound in his family. And now, his daughter went and married "a very fine Catholic young man." This led to a granddaughter, which brings Weaver to the nub: "You know your way around in the church. Is there a chance, if my little one should be as holy as Mother Teresa, that someday she might become bishop of Rome?
You have our infallible word on it.
Though the competition is over, those Amazing Big Sic Limericks trickle on, including one from Patty Colman Lawlor of San Bruno, allegedly penned by an angel:
And from Clare Will Faulhaber of New Braintree:
An infallible person called God
There is a passage in William S's "Julius Caesar" in which Julius or someone is thrice offered a crown as emperor of Rome or something and each time finds it more difficult to turn the crown down.
Similarly, Sicperson seems to be saying: "Is this a pointy hat I see before me?" while contemplating what might have been had we all played our cards a little closer to the scrawny old chest. Or something.
Finally, don't look now, but trouble seems to loom again on page 2, where you-know-who, if we may stick with the Julius C scenario, thinks he "doth bestride the narrow world like a colossus." If This Space should unaccountably disappear again, you can reach Sic in the gulag. Or somewhere.
National Catholic Reporter, July 18, 1997