Letter ends parishioners two decades of
service
By TERESA MALCOLM
NCRStaff
Two parishioners of a church in the
New York archdiocese said they felt pressured to end two decades of service as
eucharistic ministers after they wrote a letter to local newspapers in support
of Sr. Jeannine Gramick and Fr. Robert Nugents ministry to
homosexuals.
The parishioners, Anne and Ed Reynolds, have been members of St.
Aedan Parish in Pearl River, N.Y., since its founding in 1966. Ed Reynolds, 67,
became a eucharistic minister in 1977, and his wife, Anne, 65, became one in
1980.
However, after the pastor, Fr. Joseph Penna, received complaints
about their letter, he asked them to refrain from coming up to the altar and
subsequently accepted their resignations as eucharistic ministers.
The Reynolds letter was published first in The Journal
News of Rockland County Aug. 2 and then in the Aug. 12 archdiocesan
Catholic New York. The couple, whose 28-year-old son, Andrew, is gay,
wrote that they had attended four retreats led by Gramick and Nugent and
found them to be the most compassionate, knowledgeable and holy people we
have ever known. They added that Gramick and Nugent were always careful
to present church teaching accurately.
The Reynoldses objected to the Vaticans language, calling it
particularly distressing to parents. It is not pleasant to hear your
loving and beloved child described as objectively disordered.
Neither is it pleasant to be told that a childs loving relationship with
a longtime and faithful partner is intrinsically evil. They
said that such language could be used to justify prejudice and violence against
homosexuals.
As parents of a gay man, we cannot fully assent to the
churchs teaching on homosexuality. To do so would be to deny our son and
violate our consciences, they wrote.
I didnt think it was such an offensive letter,
Ed Reynolds told NCR. We love our son very much and support him
and feel he does not qualify as disordered or intrinsically evil. Hes a
wonderful young man who does wonderful things for other people.
He added, We know he didnt choose this lifestyle. This
is the lifestyle God gave him, and hes doing the best with
that.
The couple said Penna was on vacation when the letters were
published. But after his return, the priest called them Saturday, Aug. 28, to
ask them to refrain from serving as eucharistic ministers as they were
scheduled to do at the noon Mass the next day. He asked if the two could meet
with him the following Tuesday.
At that meeting, Penna told the couple that complaints were made
to him and to the parochial vicar, Anne Reynolds said. My husband asked,
What does this mean -- are we out of the parish? She said
the priest said no, but when her husband offered that they resign as
eucharistic ministers, Penna responded, Well, thank you.
We were both real shaken by that, she said. My
husband served as an altar boy in the third grade. He was very distressed and
hurt.
She said that it was obvious their resignation was
what Penna wanted. They later thought that by offering to resign, we made
it too easy on him.
Penna declined to comment to NCR.
The Reynoldses said they would continue to attend St. Aedan
Parish. Since their meeting with Penna, they have on several occasions remained
in the pews when eucharistic ministers were needed. While some members of the
congregation questioned why they didnt go up to the altar, for the most
part there has been no outcry, according to Ed Reynolds. Our fellow
parishioners are noncommittal, he said. They just nod their heads
and say, Gee, thats too bad.
His wife said, Were not political people. Were
both just tired of secrecy and shame. We dont think we have anything to
be ashamed about.
Anne Reynolds, who has been involved in antiabortion activities
and has attended the March for Life in Washington, said that she and her
husband agree with the bishops on so many things. Were really very
conservative.
The couple has a long history with the Catholic church. Both
attended Catholic schools through college. All eight of their children attended
Catholic elementary and high schools, and five of them are Catholic college
graduates.
The two also have an almost 30-year association with a Carmelite
community, first when it was in the Bronx, then after it relocated to Beacon,
N.Y. Ed Reynolds, a dentist, donated his dental services to the nuns for many
years. Sr. Michael Ann, prioress of the Carmelite monastery in Beacon, praised
the Reynoldses long years of service to her community and to the
church.
She also said, Theyre parents and as parents reflect
the loving care of God and are naturally concerned for their child.
Several of the sisters wrote notes of care and concern when they
learned that the Reynoldses had stepped down as eucharistic ministers. It
was very painful to us, what happened to them, because they are very loyal
church people, the prioress told NCR. I dont think
Jesus worked this way.
Sr. Janet Blaxendale, executive secretary of the archdiocesan
liturgy commission and head of the liturgy office, said she was unaware of the
Reynoldses case and could not comment on it specifically. However, she
said, Eucharistic ministers are supposed to exemplify the best of
Christian life in the Roman Catholic church. If an individual says publicly
that they cannot assent to a particular teaching of the church then I think
there is a question there.
The Reynoldses say that the churchs teaching on
homosexuality simply does not fit with their experience, and it heightens the
danger to homosexual people, especially in light of what happened to Matthew
Shepard last year. The murder of the young gay man in Laramie, Wyo., sent fear
through the parents of homosexual children, Anne Reynolds said.
Were haunted by the idea that people can be killed for
who they are, she told NCR. The people Ive met have
been wonderful people, and I think they dont get a fair shake. It
doesnt help when the hierarchy insists on words like evil,
disordered and depraved - words that justify violence. The
bishops dont mean to do that, but I dont live in an ivory tower. I
live with real people in a real house and I can see how harmful that wording
is.
National Catholic Reporter, November 5,
1999
|