Viewpoint Has either candidate ever used bailing wire to
hold up cars muffler?
By G. WAYNE BARR
The mud is scarce, the nitpicking
redundant. This years presidential election has all the excitement of a
power outage on a February evening in Anchorage without anyone to commiserate
with. There are no allegations of sexual misconduct. No false accusations
leveled that would bloody an ego or rivet the publics attention.
I welcome a subdued campaign, free of verbal wedgies and noogies.
However, the presidential candidates desire to control what is said and how it
is said -- what to feed the public and what to deny it -- leading to a lot of
speculation or fluff from the press. We know how meaningful country, God and
family are to Bush and Gore but nothing about who these fellows really are.
What is packaged and what is genuine?
I have questions -- serious and light-hearted -- for the
presidential candidates:
Have you ever had to use baling wire or a coat hanger to hold up
your cars muffler? Or repaired your cars upholstery with duct tape?
Presidential candidates with a genetic pool of blue blood are notorious for
claiming a commonality with John and Jane Doe. But have you ever heard of a
poor or average income person claiming to know what it is like to be reared in
wealth? Can you relate to someone who is a couple of paychecks away from
indigence? Do you keep a stash of nickels and dimes in the cars ashtray
to pay for milk or a gallon of gas?
What do you do with those Styrofoam peanuts that fill packing
boxes? Do you envision mounds of this stuff in landfills?
Speaking of eyesores -- how do you justify the millions spent on
trivial stuff like campaign lawn signs, bumper stickers and buttons? Is the
clutter bothersome? For me, it is numbing -- the frequency of the lawn and
bumper postings a slight to the trees from which they were taken. Do you
consider the money well spent because of what you will do if elected?
Just because the other guy has enough in his campaign chest to
eliminate a Third World countrys debt, does that mean you have to spend
as much? If you plan to spend $10 or more on every registered voter in this
country to convince them of your presidential worthiness, do you mind just
sending me a check?
Why do you stage your rallies? Are you afraid no one will show
up?
How can you wear so many hats to accommodate a country with so
many vested interests? Trying to appease millions of voters has to be quite a
challenge. I have a hard enough time convincing my 11-year-old to take out the
garbage.
If you knew a certain part of the country was going to suffer from
a nuclear accident and you were unable to evacuate the population would you
tell them?
Would you ever commit covert activities without consulting
Congress? If you were willing to commit troops to a conflict situation, would
you drive one of the leading tanks? Could you face the mother of every soldier
killed under your command?
If members of your administration were engaged in illegal matters,
would you report them? Sorry, silly question. But once the illegalities were
made public would you deny them? Moreover, if the major boo-boo points to your
duplicity would you take the fall or pass the buck?
I realize God has a place in your speeches, but how do you pray to
him or her? Do you ask for favors or fortitude? Or do you listen in silence
with an open heart and mind? Does God have a gender? If God was black or turned
out to love Muslims a tiny bit more than Christians and Jews would that offend
you? Would it worry you?
How about those lulls between the polling numbers, out of the
public eye? Do you carp at the help, whine at your wife or take on reclusive
behavior?
The repetitive pace of the campaign -- endless speeches, endless
listening, endless applause, endless chicken-something -- has to be mind
numbing. It has to be especially difficult maintaining an endless smile for
strangers in a society that is suspicious of such a gratuitous act. I suppose
it is like athletes who pat each other on the behind. Theres a
camaraderie that goes with the conduct, but no one pats anothers behind
or wears a prolonged smile in public unless theyre willing to endure
derision or a bludgeoning.
Do you confuse your kids with staff members? Or Pittsburgh with
Peoria? Do you come out of the shower shaking your wifes hand and
thanking her for attending the rally?
A candidates acknowledging past presidential abuse brings a
yawn, offering to provide a path to prosperity evokes a sigh, but when the
dialogue sounds like an Amway presentation can you blame the public for falling
asleep? Its not the petty jabs and political grandstanding that creates a
lot of murmuring and rustling in our seats. Its the many questions we
have that will go unanswered and your need to control what will be said and
how. Do you trust what we will ask? Perhaps that is the most revealing
question.
G. Wayne Barr, an oblate of Mount Saviour Monastery, works
part-time as a mentor assistant at SUNY Empire State College in Corning, N.Y.
His e-mail is WaySi53@aol.com
National Catholic Reporter, September 1,
2000
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