Starting
Point
Rain, skylines and life all right there
By JAMES STEPHEN
BEHRENS
We have a new kid working here at
the bonsai barn. His name is JP, which is short for John Paul. Soon
to be 18 years old, he is lanky as they come. He looks like a living presence
from a Norman Rockwell painting.
I have never seen him without a hat. His pants are the baggy kind
that is so in vogue these days.
He is brimming with all sorts of ideas. He tells me he stays up
late every night practicing his guitar. He wants to be a rock n roll
star. He wants to bring his guitar here and play for me one of these days. He
would probably blast the roof right off the barn.
When he chats, I think a lot about how I was when I was his age,
the dreams I had, places I wanted to go, things I wanted to do.
My best friends were Greg and Walter. My twin, Jimmy, and I would
get the car on weekend nights. It was a white 1965 Chevrolet Impala. We would
pick up Greg and Walter and then drive around. We stopped at different
hangouts.
On rainy nights we drove to Eagle Rock reservation, a place of
high elevation, and parked where we could see the whole stretch of the New York
skyline. It was beautiful. We sat there in the car, smoking and talking about
all our plans and dreams. I remember the windshield and looking at the skyline
through the prism of the drops and rivulets of rain as they spread on the
windshield. Billions of lights in the city twinkled, twisted and slid through
the lens of rain and glass. We turned the radio down low, and talked and
laughed and watched the lights, the rain, the couples making out in cars to our
right and left.
We never thought back then of finding clarity in life. We talked
of things to go for, and in doing so were reaching for the lights
of our dreams.
What was then hidden from me, as it always is and must be, was the
fact that we had it all right there. Friendship, life ahead of us, seemingly
stretching as far as the view ahead of us, and drops of rain blurring the view,
distorting any clear grasp or view of what lay just ahead.
JP looks far ahead as he makes his music. I wish him well. I wish
him skylines and rain, and I thank him for helping me remember who I was and
why I still like the rain and cities that shine at night, promising something
that was really always there, with the music low and the raindrops holding a
billion lights like mysteries, mysteries that moved and inched down on the
windshield, making me glad. The mysteries yet move across the glistening
surfaces of every heart, every eye, bringing awe and power that works a slow
enchantment as we live and move. And sometimes we stop and try to see through
them, far ahead, for what we already are.
Trappist Fr. James Stephen Behrens lives at Holy Spirit
Monastery in Conyers, Ga. His e-mail address is
james@trappist.net
National Catholic Reporter, September 22,
2000
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