Religious
Life Finding life in abundance
By PATRICIA LEFEVERE
Special Report Writer
No question is so difficult or
personal that Dominican Sr. Uchenna Okereke wont answer it. Daily in
religion classes, in the hallways and in chapel she encounters many of the more
than 500 teenage girls who attend St. Dominic Academy in Jersey City, N.J. The
school is run by the Dominican Sisters of Caldwell, which Okereke joined at age
23 in 1990, shortly after arriving in America from her native Nigeria.
Some of the girls have never before seen a black nun.
They want to know if she cooks, does she own a car, does she have a curfew,
must she get permission to leave her convent? Do you have to be a virgin to be
a nun, did you ever date, whats the silliest thing shes
ever done as a sister?
No, you dont have to be a virgin to become a nun. You
can renew your virginity as a religious, she tells the girls. Yes, she
dated while in high school. Dating wasnt my call. And the
silliest thing shes done during the past decade has something to do with
meatloaf, she admits.
The best message to impart to young people about religious life is
that its a wonderful life. Its not sad and lonely because you
have no men living with you. Its not about wearing habits or being
perfect, Okereke said. She finds it imperative to admit a mistake in
front of her class and to say, Im wrong. Youre right,
if thats the case.
While Okereke told NCR that she enjoys watching a Whoopi
Goldberg video, she is quick to add that nuns are not some kind of idiots
or robots who cant think for themselves. The media portrays
us very unrealistically, she said, adding that only the TV series
Nothing Sacred and the film Dead Man Walking
captured the uniqueness and the daily stuff of religious
life.
She does not fault the media for the paucity of vocations to vowed
religious life, but it has fostered stereotypes in both potential candidates
and their families, she said. Although most parents she meets admire religious
and respect what they do, their attitude is often but not my
daughter.
Okerekes own father opposed her becoming a sister as he felt
she had the savvy to become a successful career woman in America. It was only
after he and her mother immigrated to the States that he began to
understand the life Id chosen.
Shortly after arriving in New Jersey in 1989, Okereke knew she
wanted to become a sister. While studying biology at Passaic County Community
College in Paterson, she began her search. I wanted a community with the
same values that I had -- a community with honesty, compassion, committed to
justice, respecting nature and loving life.
Okereke, who has seven siblings but grew up with 15 people in her
African household, learned from her parents that as you give life, you
receive life in abundance. She chose the Caldwell Dominicans after
visiting and contacting three other orders in New Jersey and one in
Pennsylvania. A feeling of peace soon replaced her feelings of indecision.
With the Dominicans she found a strong prayer life. Prayer
is the carbohydrates and protein of religious life while community is the
dessert. You have to have a good sense of humor for this life, Okereke
said. I believe God has a sense of humor.
She also found the order challenging. The community acts like a
mirror so that when Im out of focus I can say, Help me to
look at it in another way. Stretch me a bit.
Okereke is the youngest of seven in her intentional
Dominican community. The women, who range in age from 33 to 76, live in
Our Lady of Sorrows Parish rectory in Jersey City, where two of the Dominicans
serve as pastoral and liturgical ministers. The former pastor, Fr. James
OBrien, was killed in a car accident three years ago -- a half-hour after
lunching with the sisters. His spirit still fills the house,
Okereke said.
She finds it important for sisters, wherever they live and work,
to stay a part of a local parish. When I observe the sorrowful face of a
divorced mother, hear a 9-year-old asking for food for her drug-addicted
mother, I am renewed to give thanks to God for my community.
Okereke said she loves to come home after work. We are all
going at different angles. At breakfast we talk. Someone volunteers to cook
dinner and asks us what wed like to eat. Cooking and housework are not
just about food and cleaning. Theyre symbolic acts of sharing, she
said.
Before dinner the women pray spontaneously in the living room,
lighting a candle, playing music and sharing in a more intimate way
their day with God and one another.
Okereke is also grateful that the Dominicans absorbed her
educational expenses and offered her a scholarship to Caldwell College where
she studied religion and chemistry.
Its important for religious orders to shoulder the financial
burden of new candidates, she said, noting that among those who enter today are
many professionally trained women who still owe college loans but who are
bringing their talents and degrees to the service of religious life.
She also believes that sisters, priests and brothers should not
ask their vocations directors to be workaholics in order to improve
their numbers. Each of us needs to invite others into religious life. We
need to show them that our life is a full life, a juicy life, not a dry and
boring life.
National Catholic Reporter, February 23,
2001
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