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Viewpoint Gay, lesbian Catholics should go public and show up at
church
By ROBERT J. COMISKEY
Eighty percent of success is showing
up. This aphorism, commonly attributed to Woody Allen, brings smiles to our
faces. If youre not there, dont really expect to further your cause
or have any significant input into the endeavor under consideration.
It is one thing to have a private conversation over a moral,
social or political issue. It is quite another to express oneself publicly,
either vocally or simply through ones supportive presence. Most recently,
I have thought about this when considering the current developments, or lack
thereof, depending on ones personal or geographical location, in the
interface between gay Catholics and the church.
The development of support groups, educational programs and
similar activities in parishes and educational institutions, and other
church-related components illustrates that, while we have a long way to go
toward acceptance and full integration into parish life, some progress is
afoot. In the last year or so, for example, we have had at least one cardinal
and a bishop issue public apologies to gay and lesbian Catholics for the
hurtful manner in which they have been treated in the past. William Newman, an
auxiliary bishop in the Baltimore archdiocese, delivered a beautiful homily and
celebrated a welcoming liturgy at St. Bernadettes Parish in Silver
Spring, Md., on Dec.10, 2000, for gay and lesbian Catholics and their families
and friends. In this liturgy, he publicly asked forgiveness for the
churchs treatment of gay and lesbian Catholics.
To redress the wrong
Los Angeles Cardinal Roger Mahony voiced a similar apology this
year in his Lenten message. More important, he noted that it was inadequate to
simply say Im sorry without doing something. In his words, we
must have a firm purpose of amendment. This is consonant with our
Catholic sense of not just looking backward, but also looking forward. There is
no saving value in simply naming a group or issue unless we have some real firm
purpose of amendment, for example, in terms of a real program that seeks to
redress the wrong or some archdiocesan policy or procedure to bring about
needed change. He noted the Los Angeles special outreach ministry
to our homosexual and lesbian brothers and sisters, by including them
fully (emphasis added) in the life of our parishes and by being
attentive to protecting their civil rights.
Those who have been so shabbily treated by the church over the
years, and continue to be treated as such, might view these apologies with due
wariness or cynicism as full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
On a more positive note, these isolated messages do send a more welcoming
signal to the gay and lesbian Catholic population.
Moreover, in a similar vein, when Bishop Thomas Gumbleton, an
auxiliary in the Detroit archdiocese, responded to a recent article in a
Catholic publication, he was right on target: In Coming out as a Catholic
school teacher, published in the March 19 issue of America, Fr.
Gerald Coleman expressed his belief that it would be better for gay Catholic
teachers in Catholic schools, even those committed to celibacy, to remain
closeted since, in his judgment, by coming out they would lose credibility as
public representatives of the church. In a simple but elegant response
(America, April 23-30), the bishop responded to each significant point
of the foregoing article and noted in his closing remarks that Homosexual
persons are good and loved by God. They have no reason to be in hiding. They
have a right to be known, respected and loved as they are. We are the ones who
have to change our thinking.
These messages ought to be viewed by both the heterosexual and
homosexual communities as clear signs that anything less than full and complete
integration into the life of the church is unacceptable. Moreover, gays and
lesbians ought to be treated similarly to their heterosexual brothers and
sisters in the pulpit and the pew. No one goes about inquiring about the
conduct of heterosexuals, in spite of the fact that the vast majority reject
several areas of Catholic teaching in matters of sexual ethics, such as
contraception. Similarly, no one has the right to inquire about the private
lives of gays and lesbians. All of us are called to live chastely, in accord
with the dictates of an informed conscience. As the U.S. bishops pastoral
letter Always Our Children noted, Human beings see the
appearance, but the Lord looks into the heart.
Time to participate
It is time for our homosexual brothers and sisters to show up,
participate and stay. This process could be undertaken by different individuals
in different ways, for example, by remaining in their current community and,
depending upon their comfort zone with the community of the local parish
church, participating whenever possible. In the latter instance, their presence
is a gift to the larger church, which needs and elicits their active
involvement.
Similar to the experience of black Catholics in earlier times and
places, who simply refused to leave what was theirs as a baptismal right and
not accept black Catholic churches because they were unwelcome in
sharing the same pews with whites, homosexual Catholics need to claim their
rightful place by coming and claiming their rights. Again, this would be a
gifted presence, since it will only be through experience with publicly out
homosexual persons that prejudices and fears will be overcome, and more serious
dialogue on the issues -- particularly those matters in which full integration
is currently not possible -- can commence at the grassroots level, beyond the
walls of the Vatican, episcopal conferences and academia. As Gumbleton noted,
It is clear that one of the most effective ways to break down fears and
misconceptions about homosexual people is to put a human face on
homosexuality.
I am with you
Personal knowledge about the issues, grounded in experience with
known homosexuals, will be a crucial factor as our country moves forward in
various legal initiatives to guarantee their full civil rights. These
legislative initiatives take on a whole different meaning when one personally
knows someone who will be affected by its passage or rejection. Just as we need
publicly out gay and lesbian Catholics as role models in our schools, even more
so we need publicly out gay and lesbian role models in our pulpits and our
pews. Any member of the church, young or old, struggling with their sexual
orientation, or clearly knowing his or her sexual orientation, will be enabled
by their presence. This presence is also important to the parents and friends
of homosexuals, many of whom live in hiding, receiving minimal support from
anyone. To wit, showing up and participating is a way of publicly saying to all
these persons, I am with you in your struggle. I belong here and so do
you.
Let us not be naïve. No doubt, there will be the misinformed,
bigoted or homophobic person in the pulpit or pew who will quote chapter
and verse the current churchs teaching on conduct without the
slightest mention regarding the role of an informed conscience or widely
practiced pastoral norms. This factor will drive many away or back to separate
churches or other liturgical settings.
That is why we need more of our leaders, both heterosexual and
homosexual, to step up to the plate and stop looking backward but forward. By
and large, I honestly do believe that the majority of our Catholic churchgoers
are remarkably tolerant and accepting persons. Notwithstanding the poisonous
fumes emanating in numerous instances from the pulpit and pews, success, as
noted initially, will largely be achieved by showing up and letting the church
know that publicly out gays and lesbians are here to stay. Woody was right.
Without being there, homosexuals and the larger church community are both the
losers.
Robert J. Comiskey holds a doctorate in religion and ethics and
is a freelance writer living in Springfield, Va.
National Catholic Reporter, November 16,
2001
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