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Books 73 who left convent speak out
UNCONVENTIONAL WOMEN:
EX-NUNS TELL THEIR STORIES By Marie Therese Gass Sieben Hill, P.O.
Box 243, Clakamas OR 97015, 500 pages, $30 |
REVIEWED By JUDITH
BROMBERG
Just before settling in to write this review I was reading
Prison Diaries by Gwen and Dorothy Hennessey (NCR, Jan. 25),
about women who are natural sisters and members of the Franciscan sisterhood.
The women spent six months incarcerated for their protest at the School of the
Americas.
Gwens reaction to some petty prison procedure was to compare
it to the convent. I felt like I was back in the novitiate again with all
the rules.
If one thing glared at me from the pages of unCONVENTional
WOMEN (as the author likes to visualize her title) it was the
rules. Throughout the book, in a variety of ways, the rules cropped up,
rules that to an outsider like me, as well as to many of the women in this
book, seemed foolish and petty, such as requesting permission to throw away an
old toothbrush or being required to take a certain, often circuitous, route
through the motherhouse.
In this book, Marie Therese Gass compiles reactions she received
from 73 former women religious to some 212 questions that included reasons for
entering, reasons for leaving and the nature of their experiences in religious
life. Topics touched on range from their altered relationship to their own
family, to health care, to the chapter of faults, refectory
practices and particular friendships to name just a few.
Included in the book is the entire questionnaire, along with a
glossary of terms that might be unfamiliar. Not everyone answered every
question, but what Gass delivers is a profile of convent life that spans 50
years. One participant entered the convent in 1933; the last to leave did so in
1985. The duration of their commitments ranged from a few months to more than
30 years.
Though some women vented some long pent-up anger in these pages,
this book is anything but a pity party. In the first place, many relayed fond
memories and positive experiences, not least of which was getting a first-rate
education and meeting some excellent women who became friends and
mentors, some of whom are still strong friends. The spirituality of
religious life and the belief that they were living Gods will for them
were also positive reflections. When asked if she was glad she had been a nun,
many responded in the affirmative:
It deepened my contemplative spirit.
I learned so much about people and myself.
It made me a fighter for what the church can
become.
Whatever their warm memories may be, remaining in the convent was
not right for these 73 women and over 100,000 of their peers. In 1965 the
sister population in the United States peaked at 186,944. By 1995, their ranks
had been decimated to 86,000 women living the religious life. Three major
factors, declares Gass, seemed to have been operative: natural
attrition or the deaths of elderly members, an increased exodus of dissatisfied
members and a greatly decreasing entrance rate for new members. The
second factor, obviously, is what drives this book.
A few respondents hinted that had they known what they were in
for, they might not have taken the first step. However the privacy and secrecy
of convent practices were such that even relatives, aunts or sisters could not
share the inner workings of religious life with naive aspirants. Furthermore,
some of these practices seem to be the antithesis of Christian behavior, much
less a lifestyle among women dedicated to loving and serving God in community.
Many reported constant humiliations. Shunning was experienced or witnessed by
others; and, of course, there was the proliferation of those ridiculous rules.
Common sense seemed to have vanished forever, said one. Convent
pecking orders rankled some. Superiors who played favorites, cliques, petty
nonsense and unnecessary suffering were remembered by numerous others. I
disliked being treated like a child, summed up the sentiments of
several.
But the matter about which these women had the most to say, the
longest responses and the most outpouring, concerned their leaving. Gass
divides the departures into the decades of the 50s, 60s, 70s
and 80s. I counted 70 versions of the same story, each pain-filled in its
own way. Those who left in the 50s through early 70s, for example,
had to do so in secret, without saying goodbye and were forbidden to contact
their friends still in the convent for a specified period of time ranging from
one year to never. The later leave-takings were less repressive as departing
sisters were encouraged to feel that they were still part of the larger
community.
Many orders have staged homecoming weekends during which all
community members, past and present, come together to pray and celebrate. This
practice got mixed reviews from the panel, some citing awkwardness or forced
frivolity, others grateful for its healing effect and the sense of being
welcomed home.
Few would disagree that life behind convent walls has always been
intriguing to Catholics and non-Catholics alike, but especially to us lifelong
Catholics who were educated by nuns we knew but really didnt know.
According to Gass book, this mystique was artfully crafted by the
institution. Some of the respondents hinted that they kind of enjoyed basking
in it; most, however, resented it horribly. This book, nonetheless, will answer
a lot of your questions.
Obviously religious life is a human institution and so, not
perfect. But for all its flaws, foibles and failures, I, for one, am happy it
exists and has endured. Further, I am grateful for conscientious rule-breakers,
in or out, such as Gwen and Dorothy Hennessey, courageous visionaries like
Teresa Kane, prophets named Joan Chittister and Thea Bowman, and all the
religious women I have known and loved who have risked and given much to make
church and world a better place.
Judith Bromberg is a regular reviewer for NCR.
National Catholic Reporter, April 5,
2002
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