Viewpoint Archaic rule harnesses the church and the Spirit
By CAROL MEYER
In June the State Council of the
Knights of Columbus ran a full-page ad in the Kansas City, Kan., archdiocesan
newspaper, under the title, In solidarity with our priests. One
part of it read, In recent weeks, because of the deplorable actions of a
few, all priests have come under suspicion, when in fact the overwhelming
majority lead exemplary celibate and chaste lives
I have no problem with the Catholic men who took out this ad with
the aim of being supportive to priests. But something in me wanted to shout,
On what basis do you make such a bold statement? You have no idea if
priests are celibate or not. I know you are sincere in believing the vast
majority are, but I sure dont!
I want to speak out about this, not because of any desire to smear
the good reputation of priests, but simply because I think we all need to face
the truth. Jesus said, The truth will set you free (Jn 8:32). If
the truth is that priestly celibacy is mostly a farce and is a harmful policy
both to priests and the church at large, then we need to face it.
I realize my opinion -- that the majority of priests do not
lead exemplary celibate and chaste lives -- is just my opinion, but there are
three main reasons why I believe as I do: personal experience, public proof of
infractions and knowledge of human nature.
I was a nun for 15 years and thus a part of the inside
club of church professionals and knew of a number of priests who had
sexual relationships with women. I know some now. When I attended graduate
school at a Catholic university in the 1970s in an environment free from the
watchful eyes of parishioners, partying and affection flowed freely among the
students, who were mostly priests and nuns.
The second reason for believing as I do is public proof. Priests
and even popes have had illegitimate children throughout history. There are
support groups for women who have had affairs with priests. We hear news
stories of priests raping nuns in Africa and other places. Pedophilia is more
common than we ever believed. Many priests die of AIDS. Its common
knowledge in Hispanic cultures that many priests have mistresses or even a
family on the side. A South American bishop told someone I know that he thought
only two of his priests were celibate, and he wasnt even sure about them.
The way I figure it, if this many things come to light about something priests
dont want known, think of what is yet hidden.
My third reason for doubting the purity of priests is knowledge of
human nature. Its hard to be celibate. The drive for sex and physical
affection/intimacy is strong and not easily suppressed, not even for the
highest spiritual purposes.
Think of married people. They make a vow to their partner to be
sexually faithful, there is great societal pressure to be faithful, they are
getting some, and yet studies show over 60 percent still have
extramarital affairs. If they cant (or wont) be faithful, think how
much harder it is for a priest who has no outlet for his sexual urges.
The church can preach sex only in marriage all it
wants, but the vast majority of people dont live up to that ideal. Why
should we be surprised that priests (humans beings, after all) dont live
up to it? I dont look down on priests who are unfaithful to celibacy. I
feel compassion for them. They are put in a terrible position. Each may
genuinely want to serve God and Gods people as a priest -- a fulfilling
vocation. But they sure dont want to be celibate and cut off all romance
and affection for the rest of their lives. Most priests didnt really
choose celibacy. It just came with the territory. If given a choice,
theyd get married. Most havent fully embraced and owned celibacy,
thinking it is a special gift or calling from God. So many dont live it,
some with a lot of guilt and some who have made peace with their double
life.
What we really need is a professional study of how priestly
celibacy is being lived, some actual statistics and facts, and not mere
anecdotal evidence. Somehow I cant believe no one has ever done a study,
especially the progressive groups in the church that advocate optional
celibacy. It would benefit their cause tremendously if the true facts came to
light.
I would think the church leadership would want to know the truth,
too. What major company would make an assumption about a product or service and
never find out if it were accurate? Businesses constantly gather information
because information means success and money. Yet in one of the largest
institutions, the Catholic church, dealing not with mere money but with things
of eternal consequence, absolutely no effort is made to see if one of its major
assumptions -- that celibacy is preferable to marriage for priests -- is truly
effective.
Would priests cooperate with such a study and answer truthfully? I
dont know why not, if anonymity were assured. They have the most to gain
by relaxing the celibacy requirement. They could get married and be out in the
open about their love. They wouldnt be overworked and would see the
church they love blossom because of an adequate number of leaders and
pastors.
We may or may not get a study. But all of us can be courageous and
start speaking up about this issue. Its time to put aside our fears of
being labeled disloyal and to be insistent on married clergy. This is too
important to keep quiet about. We should be writing our bishops and the pope,
signing petitions, putting pressure on them, joining groups working for
optional celibacy, withholding our money -- whatever moral means it takes to
get honesty and action. Public pressure finally forced the bishops to do
something about pedophilia. Now its time to move to the next thorny issue
-- celibacy.
We laity need to stop accepting the celibacy rhetoric and myth.
Its easier to stick our heads in the sand and pretend all is well, but it
is not. All this dishonesty about celibacy has terrible repercussions for us
all. Its hard on a priests psyche and soul, as well as the psyche
and soul of the entire church. Insistence on priestly celibacy deprives the
church of the influx of new life, leadership, growth and ministry that would
come with the inclusion of married clergy (and women clergy, but thats
another subject for another time).
This celibacy thing is not just a minor, internal church issue. In
the final analysis, its not just about having enough priests to minister
to Catholics spiritual needs. Its about a world crying for
Christs liberation. We simply cant afford to keep our church
harnessed and the Spirit imprisoned because of an archaic celibacy rule when
the challenges and needs in the world are so great.
Carol Meyer is director of Wisdomways, a spirituality resource
center in Roeland Park, Kan.
National Catholic Reporter, August 30,
2002
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